Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Recurring Dream; Things not as they Seem

I used to have a recurring dream when I was in undergrad. It was one of those panicky types we've all had. Basically I call it my own spin on the "show up to class naked." In that dream, I am walking into the auditorium of the old art building at the UI and sit down and open my test booklet. I await the slides. They appear. I know them all. Score...except...the test asks for their titles in Russian. The essays for the compare and contrast section ask me to formulate my response in...surprise Russian. I do not now, nor have I ever studied the Russian language. It is not on the list of expected languages I should know before my master's degree in Art History either (FRENCH and GERMAN). The whole point I guess is that I know the material and I recognize the works, but I just can't do what's asked. It causes me to stress out, and then I usually wake up.

The new version of this cropped up this past September. It begins with me freaking out that I have not actually turned in my final paper for Art Librarianship. It continues with me frantically trying to throw something together the day the paper is due. Realizing that I've failed to turn anything in at all or that perhaps it wasn't good enough (that part is unclear in Susan Dream Consciousness) and surprise...I don't get to graduate.

Now I ask you...why do we do this to ourselves? Dream interpretation books would probably suggest it is a manifestation of our own nervousness in the conscious realm.
Who knows. But man, I wish it would stop. Jeesh, I've graduated, I've gotten the masters degree, can't these dreams stop too? Or is it the future Im worrying about? The next degree, or the next hoop I'm jumping through?

I'm actually pretty happy about my life right now, where I'm at, and the direction I"m heading in...it feels comfortable, with just a hint of unknown and that's causing excitement instead of trepidation...

*shrug*

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