Well, I have been back in Iowa for almost two full weeks now. It has been a very good experience to readjust to life over here. I am loving my internship so far, Rijn is awesome and I am learning some really cool things, and I just got a call to interview at Barnes and Noble on Wed. so everyone wish me luck with that! (how totally awesome would it be to work with books and get paid? haha, oh wait...that's what my REAL career is going to be anyways! hehe, perhaps that's why I'm worthy of an interview. Hopefully they won't care that i"m only going to be around in the summer, and only want part time...well keep your fingers crossed anyways okay?). Let's see...other things....readjustment...well it has been really nice to see the Iowa friends again. There is something quite wonderful in the simple pleasure I take in hanging out with certain people that i have great chemistry with, so that we can spend an entire evening hanging out and in a very Seinfeldian sort of way, conduct a "show about nothing." Seriously, I hadn't laughed sooo hard in ages, as I did last week at perkins. It felt so good to just gel with them again. :) I miss my b-town girls and boys already too, because they are awesome as well, but there is something to be said for hanging out with people that, for all practical purposes have all sorts of "ammo" against you from previous knowledge to make fun of you with. Ah, the joys of being able to laugh at yourself. Particularly, from the bowling alley, the first night of my return, when I was dead tired and dragged my butt over because it was MY idea to go bowling earlier in the day, for when I got back to town, but soo tired I barely knew what was going on. Needless to say my comment of "I left the deathstars in the other duffelbag" is now living in infamy. Not to mention "what happens when you step on a dead cow?" (from the perkins evening) to which I replied "It stays dead?"
Not all of this homeward venture has been rosy though, as I've realized a few more things about myself that i need to work on. Like jealousy. I've always thought it such a stupid emotion, but I am beginning to understand the complexities and different types of jealousy that exist, and hopefully will discover how to better deal with them from an internal standpoint. But for the most part, life is fairly coposetic..(and I STILL can't spell for anything) So that's the newest update. peace!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Listening to: John Stweart and Daily Show - I love that man.
Helped move ppl out today, and some of my stuff to the car, feeling rather lazy now because of all this physical activity earlier. about to go to dinner. aren't you happy that you know this information now? yes? well look forward to more posts like this over the summer, because I will not be all that interesting I"m sure :) A certain someone who reads this should call me back and tell me how their new job is going...really!!!! pay attention it's important that I know how montana is. okay!?!
bye folks...
Helped move ppl out today, and some of my stuff to the car, feeling rather lazy now because of all this physical activity earlier. about to go to dinner. aren't you happy that you know this information now? yes? well look forward to more posts like this over the summer, because I will not be all that interesting I"m sure :) A certain someone who reads this should call me back and tell me how their new job is going...really!!!! pay attention it's important that I know how montana is. okay!?!
bye folks...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Listening to: Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Oh ya, so this is a huge record, three entries in one day - well technically one day/evening. I forgot to mention in the earlier entries how totally stoaked I was that traci and I went to see David Sedaris at the IU Auditorium the other week. Can I just say that if I wind up with even a small amount of his enormous wit/abilities by the time I'm 50, i'll be pretty happy (also wouldn't mind being considered a "successful" writer- because let's face it that's a pretty huge feat in itself.) I really enjoyed it, so I"m also really glad that Traci and I actually became friends, because well, it was a leap of faith that I asked if she'd like to go and hear him way back when we purchased the tickets in september and we barely knew each other. :) Good thing we click so well. I must take a moment to thank these great friends here at IU that are my new found support system. I love you all dearly and just wanted to say so again, especially for all your help in the past couple of months. It has in fact been a very rough end to the semester here at IU, and I look forward to the end of the academia for a few.
I hope that aunt mary is recovering from the surgery and can continue her life as normally as possible. I know it may seem very "high and mighty" or whatever to say that I am really truly blessed in many ways, and that I'm glad I stop to take the moments to remember that. For a switch to introspection: On a personal level I am too hard on myself when it comes to the potential for failure. I'm not sure where i picked up this trait along the way in my life, it's totally self-inflicted, and also detremental. It's not as if I haven't flunked things in my life time, and survived. It's not as if I haven't had disappointments academically, I'm not a straight A student. I never got a 4 pt in undergrad. I was an honors student, sure, but I didn't belong to many extracuriculars, so I wasn't an "overachiever" or anything, and I enjoyed learning. But I can't lie to myself that I garner a certain satisfaction from getting A's. It's weird to, because I know that B's are good, and that if I get B's I most likely deserve them, and I"m not one to argue for more points or anything, and especially in grad school. But for some realize I have a parallizing fear of failure that is self-imposed. It's not an outside pressure on me to be outstanding, it's only my own want and desire for that. Really, it's stupid and I need to learn to cope with this better. It is something I will be working on over the summer I hope. Obviously it will be on my mind some, as this summer I won't have a class that is based on "grades" but rather on learning on the job. So hopefully that will help me out there.
I am going to miss you IU and the stempel crew. at least some of them will be returning next year, and I will still keep in touch with the others -
there is already talk of a cocktail party at my new apartment for those returning to IU, slis folks and others :) so keep that in mind all you returning folks.
okay, enough for tonight. my brain is fried from all this analyzation. Reading back over some of the first entries I wrote, I was alot more clear, had better word choices, tighter essays with some good punchlines, closing sentences...and now...well now...I firmily believe my writing style has reverted back to the 3rd grade.
Oh ya, so this is a huge record, three entries in one day - well technically one day/evening. I forgot to mention in the earlier entries how totally stoaked I was that traci and I went to see David Sedaris at the IU Auditorium the other week. Can I just say that if I wind up with even a small amount of his enormous wit/abilities by the time I'm 50, i'll be pretty happy (also wouldn't mind being considered a "successful" writer- because let's face it that's a pretty huge feat in itself.) I really enjoyed it, so I"m also really glad that Traci and I actually became friends, because well, it was a leap of faith that I asked if she'd like to go and hear him way back when we purchased the tickets in september and we barely knew each other. :) Good thing we click so well. I must take a moment to thank these great friends here at IU that are my new found support system. I love you all dearly and just wanted to say so again, especially for all your help in the past couple of months. It has in fact been a very rough end to the semester here at IU, and I look forward to the end of the academia for a few.
I hope that aunt mary is recovering from the surgery and can continue her life as normally as possible. I know it may seem very "high and mighty" or whatever to say that I am really truly blessed in many ways, and that I'm glad I stop to take the moments to remember that. For a switch to introspection: On a personal level I am too hard on myself when it comes to the potential for failure. I'm not sure where i picked up this trait along the way in my life, it's totally self-inflicted, and also detremental. It's not as if I haven't flunked things in my life time, and survived. It's not as if I haven't had disappointments academically, I'm not a straight A student. I never got a 4 pt in undergrad. I was an honors student, sure, but I didn't belong to many extracuriculars, so I wasn't an "overachiever" or anything, and I enjoyed learning. But I can't lie to myself that I garner a certain satisfaction from getting A's. It's weird to, because I know that B's are good, and that if I get B's I most likely deserve them, and I"m not one to argue for more points or anything, and especially in grad school. But for some realize I have a parallizing fear of failure that is self-imposed. It's not an outside pressure on me to be outstanding, it's only my own want and desire for that. Really, it's stupid and I need to learn to cope with this better. It is something I will be working on over the summer I hope. Obviously it will be on my mind some, as this summer I won't have a class that is based on "grades" but rather on learning on the job. So hopefully that will help me out there.
I am going to miss you IU and the stempel crew. at least some of them will be returning next year, and I will still keep in touch with the others -
there is already talk of a cocktail party at my new apartment for those returning to IU, slis folks and others :) so keep that in mind all you returning folks.
okay, enough for tonight. my brain is fried from all this analyzation. Reading back over some of the first entries I wrote, I was alot more clear, had better word choices, tighter essays with some good punchlines, closing sentences...and now...well now...I firmily believe my writing style has reverted back to the 3rd grade.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Listening to: Lifehouse - You and Me
Can I just tell everyone how much I LOVE music, and how much I LOVE music from my favorite bands, especially NEW music from my favorite bands? I am really saddened that I missed not only Guster TWICE this semester, as they came to both Purdue AND UI, *sigh* (and I heard the UI concert was fabulous from Misa, my former roomie who went at my urging, though she has Guster's first album and none of the newer stuff - that will be remedied as soon as I get back to IC of course) I also missed Storyhill whom I have come to rely on as my "mellow downtime" contemplative mood music - and yes, surprising to some of you, I DO have moments when I contemplate my life, the lives around me, and what it all means. They came to Chicago and they played in Cedar Rapids, which I found quite interesting. It makes me realize how many bands out there that I've discovered through friends over the years, and have come to throughly enjoy listening to, and have probably missed countless performances by them in the past simply because I hadn't been introduced to them yet. It was sad that Tuttle introduced me to Chamberlain too late to see them perform live, as they've broken up since then. At least these other bands, lifehouse, storyhill and guster are still together and going strong, and even more awesome that they have been coming to areas in my neck of the woods...however, I have not seen them live yet! This saddens me, and I renew my resolve to see these bands before I'm out of my twenties! Academics be damned next time, i will drive the two hrs to purdue to see Guster play. I should have done it this time.
Honestly, sometimes I let my academic success drive rule my life, I'm such an idiot to let that happen. Truly. If I learn the information, that is what is important, not the grade I get after the fact. And, as I found myself thinking the other day, when I look back on my time in grad school - what am I going to be able to say? Well, I have at least met quite a few interesting and great people that have become my fantastic support system here at IU. I have lived away from iowa for a time, and generally it has been a good year. But next year, I will go to the concerts.
Can I just tell everyone how much I LOVE music, and how much I LOVE music from my favorite bands, especially NEW music from my favorite bands? I am really saddened that I missed not only Guster TWICE this semester, as they came to both Purdue AND UI, *sigh* (and I heard the UI concert was fabulous from Misa, my former roomie who went at my urging, though she has Guster's first album and none of the newer stuff - that will be remedied as soon as I get back to IC of course) I also missed Storyhill whom I have come to rely on as my "mellow downtime" contemplative mood music - and yes, surprising to some of you, I DO have moments when I contemplate my life, the lives around me, and what it all means. They came to Chicago and they played in Cedar Rapids, which I found quite interesting. It makes me realize how many bands out there that I've discovered through friends over the years, and have come to throughly enjoy listening to, and have probably missed countless performances by them in the past simply because I hadn't been introduced to them yet. It was sad that Tuttle introduced me to Chamberlain too late to see them perform live, as they've broken up since then. At least these other bands, lifehouse, storyhill and guster are still together and going strong, and even more awesome that they have been coming to areas in my neck of the woods...however, I have not seen them live yet! This saddens me, and I renew my resolve to see these bands before I'm out of my twenties! Academics be damned next time, i will drive the two hrs to purdue to see Guster play. I should have done it this time.
Honestly, sometimes I let my academic success drive rule my life, I'm such an idiot to let that happen. Truly. If I learn the information, that is what is important, not the grade I get after the fact. And, as I found myself thinking the other day, when I look back on my time in grad school - what am I going to be able to say? Well, I have at least met quite a few interesting and great people that have become my fantastic support system here at IU. I have lived away from iowa for a time, and generally it has been a good year. But next year, I will go to the concerts.
Well, almost done with the semester - meaning still don't know my grades, but i'm done with everything, it's all turned in, and now i must wait for the grades. I hope everyone else has had a great end to their semester as well! and good luck with all your summer plans. I'll update at some point soon, but for now, i'm basking in the fact that i'm done by watching t.v. and being a bum for a few hours :)
lata
lata
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