I am currently reading the book Smashed and I recommend it to everyone. Yes, that's right, not just girls that are pre-college, but I'd also recommend it to the guys that I know. The author does a good job of describing her experiences growing up in the 80's and 90's, and it's a refreshing look at how raw those initial experiences where and how much time must pass before one can really evaluate why you did the things you did, or at the very least, what type of perspective you will bring to them much later.
I see many aspects of myself and my own college experiences in her writing and choices. This is what writing I guess is all about. How to find your personal voice, and yet, be able to make something that is identifiable and universal. So that, your audience, when reading goes: Ya, I hear you. I've been there. Or, Oh my god, I can't believe that happened to you. Her vehicle to achieve this reaction: alcohol. Something I have come to lately identify with a strange love/hate relationship myself.
You may think, wow, perhaps Susan is admiting in a blog that she suffers alcoholism. Well, I'm not. I don't need a drink a day or anything like that. You see, that's also a distinction the author makes. She basically says she abuses alcohol, but she's not an alcoholic. Interesting huh? But when you think about it, how many college age males and females do just that?
I'll admit I've thrown up from drinking too much and thought, gee that was stupid, I should know my limits, and not do that. (granted that's only happened twice, and once it was because I ate the mint leaves in the mojito w.o realizing you aren't supposed to do that). I'll also admit I've been drunk enough that I don't entirely remember the sequence of events of an evening. Ya, that was a scary night. I stopped drinking for a long time after that one.
Have I had to have other people take care of me after drinking? Well, yeah, that one scary night, and one other one that I can definately remember. Have I now learned to drink responsibly? I hope so....but one must ask themselves what exactly does that mean?
Does responsibly mean that you simply make sure someone's gonna be the DD? Does it mean you always use the "buddy system"? Does it mean you don't get behind the wheel of your car or someone else's if you've been drinking at all? Or had one or two drinks? Does it mean that you don't drink when you're underage? Does it mean you don't drink in a bar? Does it mean you watch the bartender making your drink? Does it mean you don't accept drinks from people you don't already know? Does it mean that you go up to the bar with your guy friends when THEY buy drinks for you? Does it mean you don't drink and then do something else, like pot, or hallucinagentic drugs? Does it mean you get drunk, but make sure you meet your friends when you're supposed to? Does it mean you don't get drunk and make out with someone on the street corner? or get into a fight in the ped mall?
I am a firm believer that underage (i.e. not 21) year olds in college or not, should, in fact, be allowed into bars. Because I went to bars when I was 18,19,20 and did not drink, but socialized with friends and danced. I also went and did the same at 21-24. I also believe that if I go into a bar, I am accepting that I'll be exposed to second hand smoke (unless the bar is smoke free)- and I'm also allergic to it. Sadly, I also expect that if I go into a bar, I am going to subject myself to possibly crowds of people, having drinks spilled on me, potential cigarette burns, having guys attempt to grab me, or dance on me, or try to pick me up, or feel me up. Should this be the case simply because I am a woman in the right age range? Of course not.
Have I regaled my tales of drinking that were more unusual or interesting to other people as "this one time when I was drinking" oh yea, I have. Am I proud of this? I don't know....I don't think i really am, and yet, what stories get told the most often when you're out with people in these contexts? Usually, it's, we got drunk and such and such happened. Or "man, my sister got drunk last night and it was soo funny." or "god, my roommate got drunk last night, and I had to take care of her ." And the inevitable "I don't remember doing that, I'm sorry, I was drunk."
Yeah, that sucks.
Have I spent a number of years taking care of my friends, making sure they had a DD, and offering to be it? Have I watched a number of them get sick from alcohol, yea. I've also tried to make sure they didn't do anything that was too crazy, that they'd seriously regret the next day. Have I been pissed at them for some of the stuff they'd said or did while drinking...ya? Have they been pissed at me for things I've said or did while drinking or trying to take care of them? quite possibly. Don't get me wrong, when I say I've spent years taking care of my friends, I am no martyr, and I am not trying to take any moral high ground here. I am simply trying to sort out the mess that I consider my relationship with booze.
I just finished my second year of graduate school, so I've got a master's degree now, and do you think that equates with being smarter about drinking? well, I shall hope so. I didn't drink much in grad school, I went out the first year with a friend, she'd drink, I'd go to dance. And yet, one night I did go out and get wasted...and I went to class while I was still drunk the next morning. And this year, I only went out a few nights and drank, but halloween, I drank, and then I walked back to my apartment through wet grass with no shoes on...was that stupid? of course. and did I not control my emotions? yup...cause that happens to me sometimes when I drink also. Did I go out one night and drink a lot of long islands, so I was definately passed my limit, and then go back to my apartment and decide to drink more? Yup, I remember doing that also.
Did I have a party at my parent's house last August for my birthday while they weren't home, and buy alcohol to serve my friends? yes. They are all over 21 btw Did I make sure those planning to drink stayed the night or had a DD? yes. Have I been out drinking, and had a pint of beer or a glass of wine with some friends to celebrate graduation, or catch up on old times? Yup and I walked home, or had a DD each time. Did I have some liquid courage in my system in order to finally tell someone I like them? yes, but I had a dd that night also. Did I have a shot bought by a friend, and a few margarittas one night? yup....did I get drunk, no. Did I have fun with my friends playing pool, yes. Did I go on a wine tour in Napa Valley, which meant I had a few glasses of wine, yup. But I didn't drive, and I had a great time socializing with my family.
So have I learned what responsible consumption of alcohol is? Perhaps. Did it come at a high price? Maybe, though maybe not as high a price as some of my other friends. And not as high a price as those that have died due to alcohol use, or the alcohol use of others.
So what have I gained from reading this book that is on the ny times bestsellers list? Well, I guess, in alot of ways, I'm like a good portion of the general population my age.