The "New" and the "Old"

Locations of my Spring Break: Iowa City and Bloomington
Duration of my Spring Break: March 09th-March 19th
Worth of my Spring Break: Priceless

I guess that expression In with the New Out with the Old has many applications for medicine and technology ala redesigning a blog page, but for me, that philosophy just doesn't hold up well in other contexts. I suppose a lot of people would say that adage means creating a "fresh start" for yourself, but to me it seems to suggest that in order to make a new beginning you have to forget or erase or throw out the "old."
Why would I want to throw out the "old" of my life? The "old" of my life means many things, including wonderful and painful past memories and experiences. The "old" of my life is what has taught me the mistakes (or learning experiences as I prefer to call them) I've made, valuable self-worth, and my worth to others. It is what makes me the person I am today, and will help me decide the person I will be tomorrow. The "old" is a testement to where I have been, and my journey to get whereever the heck I am hoping to wind up. It's a sign of my previous character, and how I may react to events in the future.
Someone recently told me that I often speak in absolutes and I often jump to the worst case scenario in almost all situations - even before such situations have fully played out. I am quick to make assumptions and internalize. And I am quick to blame myself for whatever happens, and handle a lot of unhealthy guilt, even if others would say it was out of my control. - They were right.
Curiously, if I am in the supermarket, and the check-out girl snaps at me, I shrug it off because she's probably having a bad day (a more positive assumption I guess and it doesn't really phase me). I am rarely angry at other people for the things they may do that hurt me, because most often the hurt is only temporary and often accidental. (notice, not an absolute - rarely doesn't mean never) Besides, because we're human we are bound to do things and make decisions that hurt other people in some way, either without knowing, or because of an underlying need to prove something(?) and will feel bad about it after the fact.
I'm not a psychologist, so I can't say for sure what motivates people to do things to hurt others with malice and without conscience. But I will say that most often my first instinct is, even today, to see as much good as possible in the people I meet.

Rose-colored glasses will only take you so far.

I spent a good portion of my Spring Break really trying to internally reflect on what has brought me to this point, and at the same time, absorbing the advice and support of others, (thank you to you all, those who know the full story or various shades in between) because I'm trying to realize that for some instances I have a right to be angry, and have that anger directed toward someone else. I have a right to take on my own accountability that is warranted, and not those of other people. I have a right to carry that "old" with me and never forget it(as I have self-destructively tried to do), but I also have a need and responsibility to move past it, in a healthy way. I should not blame myself...and even as I write that now, I still only minutely believe it.

That is one thing about acceptance of your personality and what you don't want to continue to do. Often, it will take awhile before you'll see noticable improvement. The important thing though is to try to change what you can, (In with the NEW) and also to not let the "old" consume your current life and happiness (But REBMEMBER the OLD).