Memory Circle

Congrats to Christa, on her acceptance of a position on the OTHER side of the ILL department at IUB. :) May you find the borrowing as much fun as the lending.
Also, for those of you who believe in the power of prayer, or you believe that just thinking about someone can send them "good vibes" then please do so for Christa and her family, as they are going through a bit of a rough patch.

I took my grandmother's ring to a store tonight to see if they can replace the missing stone. No surprise that since it's an antique ring, they'll have to cut a new stone with the same "cut style" from a piece of original rock that is of the same coloring...i.e. a peridot of particular shade....so it sounds like it's going to cost quite a bit to fix, but to me, it will be worth it. What can I say, but that I am attachted to sentimental things such as these. My grandma let me pick one piece of jewelry from her jewelry box for my birthday when I was either 14, 15, or 16 (and we still had the old cottage at Okoboji in the family). I picked the ring, because it looked like it was my birthstone (and I didn't have anything else w. my birthstone except for my original studs from piercing my ears). But, I have to say half the fun of that time was the pleasure I got from looking through her possessions. I'm not saying that in any sort of sick, money-hungry type tone...but more in the tone of, it's neat to think about what other people collect as far as personal adornment goes. It was more fun for me to hear the stories that went along with other pieces in her collection, than to really settle on something.
I found the same thing to be true when I recently raided my mom's box to find a gold object to go with my "Roman Goddess" costume, and found "Care to Teach" pins, and some cufflinks of my dad's, and a neat tennis bracelet with various charms for her to explain.
In a way, it is funny that I don't remember the background of the particular peridot ring. I remember more how I felt getting to spend some quality one on one time with Grandma Madeliene. A rare commodity when there were 14 other cousins (a few with their own new additions), her own 5 remaining children, and my Grandfather, plus NUMEROUS stoppers-by that could occupy her attention on the front porch downstairs.
My grandma is great. I think maybe that's a universal for people that love their grandparents to say, but for me, it does hold true.
She's one of a kind, in the way that I'm sure all grandmothers are. And to have a small reminder of that uniqueness in something I can keep in a box and pass on to my own offspring will make repairing it worth the monetary expense.

Listening to: Streaming Itunes Music One
Mood: eh, whatever

So, this weekend was pretty fun, despite my hawks losing to ISU. Blah! Oh well, at least it doesn't count for the Big Ten Season, and really, I think we'd have played better if Tate was in the whole game. Friday I ran errands with Rena, and I was proud of myself. I cooked parmesan ranch chicken and steamed veggies and ate grapes. So very good and healthy of me right? Then I met Christa at Ashton and we went to see the Hitchcock double feature at IUB City lights. That was alot of fun. We say Strangers on a Train and Shadow of a Doubt. I have to say, that old school hitchcock, ala 1940's style, has a romantic quality about it, even though the sound was not synced well to the movement of the mouths. It slightly resembled badly dubed japanese movies. However, I was still entertained. Perhaps the most interesting portion of the evening was when Christa, who always gets very invovled in movies while she's watching them, shouted out "JERK" very loudly at one of the characters, who, in deed, was acting like a jerk. I just laughed a little though, because she's usually so amicable and peaceful, so to hear her get animated about anything, much less a movie, and to shout, in an auditorium where other people were present, was pretty funny. Yesterday I tackled my first assignment for Info in the Humanities...it did not go well. I did finish the rough draft by 3 am though. I had such a case of writer's block, it was quite horrible. This was not helped by the fact that some of the IC friends were watching pirates and hanging out together. At least they talked to me online for awhile, and the phone was passed around some. Still, I think that's the hardest part about being in grad school right now in another state. It's knowing they are doing something that's fun, when I'm not. Course I did have my fun moments for the weekend too, so I can't complain too much. I also stayed up way too late on thursday night, and did nothing productive, even though i'd had coffee in order to stay up and be productive, but, instead, I talked online, and then read Tuttle's latest play. I love that he still sends me the rough drafts. I hope he didn't find my comments to punchy, as I finished reading about 3 am, and then read Rule of 4 for another two hours. Went to bed at 5 am. I really need to get out of that habit and start paying attention to school and school reading. I have to revise my paper, I have to start these long term projects, and I have to really start my exercise and diet program to keep me sane before heading home for jaime's wedding in October. We hope to have a game night soon too. :) We've got a few slis kids that are board game players, so that will be exciting if it can happen. I also would still like to go into Chicago some weekend with Traci to visit Erik, so her around Chicago (she's not been downtown yet) and perhaps go clubbing with some Iowa friends who can make the drive over. I must send a bday shout out to the bride to be, Jaime will turn 25 tomorrow. ;) HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Tonight after family guy, i will go to starbucks and try to really concentrate and get some studying done. Then tomorrow morning, another week will start again. Hopefully things will go better at work, and my topic ideas will pan out for all of my projects.
that's the update folks. BTW, certain people need to send me an email. It is LONG overdue. No matter how busy you are at a new job, that is no excuse to not keep in touch and drop me a line and tell me about what the job entails, your life, and your thoughts. This means you Will!!! (and yes, I'm doing this in the blog, on the chance you still read it every once in awhile)
peace out

Back to the Grind

Well, Spring Break was a welcome change from IUB and the humdrum life of sus the grad student. Instead I was Sus the traveler, Sus the MLS student with librarians to interview, Sus the friend back from out of town (this last one I find especially appealing).
So the first is great because well, let's face it, I LOVE to travel, and also, I'm fortunate enough that for xmas my parents bought me a ticket to visit Steve in San Fran (and they came along which meant things got paid for not out of my own pocket...hooray) Can I just say how great my parents are? I love them so much, and not because they pay for me to take exciting vacations, but because they are actually *gasp* quite cool to hang out with and converse with. I think even if I had to pay for my own ticket i would have jumped at the chance to spend some quality time with the rents. For that matter, I'd say the same about Steve now to. We've worked hard on our relationship over the past years, alot of growing up and communication, and now I"m happy to say I would even enjoy spending time visiting him regardless of the parents being along, or probably even the awesome locations he seems to pick to live in :) And let me say San Fran was an awesome choice for living - Well done Steve :) I had a BLAST out there...and enjoyed pretty much every minute of my journey out there. (plane flights not withstanding) Saw the Golden Gate Bridge, the Bay, the SFMOMA (see below), Yeurba Buena Gardens (our hotel was right near it), the SF Aquarium, Hard Rock Cafe, tall ships, Monteray Bay, the M. Bay Aquarium, Seaside, Calif., Carmel, Calif, San Jose, some of Stanford Campus, Sunnyvale (and YES< it made me think of Sunnydale and Buffy the V.Slayer.) and the PACIFIC Ocean - both in San Fran side, and also from the 17 mile drive - which kicked, and also means I saw spy glass, pebble beach and some other golf courses, and houses I can hope to dream to own someday!
The SFMOMA provided me the op to be studious and a good student and inquisitive and interview the librarian at the SFMOMA about her position, library etc etc, it was well worth the time and will hopefully also help w. the paper i'm writing (ACK!) Plus the exhibitions were way cool,a nd I felt all professional and grown-up for setting up the tour/interview and exploring.
But, let me tell you why this last is the best. Now that I am no longer in Iowa City, I have gained this awesome status as the out-of-town friend that all of the IC friends should make it a priority to see while she's back. This is a great thing to me. Because I absolutely adore my friends back home, and love them to death, so it is only natural that when I am back in town I want to see all of them that I can and spend as much time as possible hanging out with them. I am happy to report that it was reciprical in most cases. Dude, totally just spelled that wrong - spell check didn't rescue me there. So first, thanks to all of you who made yourselves available to me, even for the smallest amount of time, it was much appreciated and I will see you all again soon (ACK!!! not much time left before I finish the first year of grad school - well hopefully finish)
Speaking of friends....secondly, SOOO many upcoming birthdays to send shout outs. Christa and Traci, this month, Rena, Q and Becks next month...happy birthdays folks!
all right, that said, I really should get a move on...I am wet from soaking rain, and soaked from wet rain..(and kickboxing) so must dry off and begin the process of trying to get ALL these things done...ACK! (back to the stress!)

Mundane Moments Matter

Listening to: Kings of Convenience, Quiet is the New Loud

It was a rough week for other reasons as well. I know that people appreciate the fact that I tend to follow a few of the LEO traits, in that I"m fun to be around most times and enjoy the simple things in life, like laughing with friends. However, there was more to worry and empathize about this week than to laugh about. I try to be there for my friends and family, the people that mean the most to me, Itry not to burden them too much with my own issues, but also to let them in, I try not to make many mistakes and I try to take a good moral road of right and wrong most times...I hope that people can see me for who I am, someone that is trying to get along in the world just like them, who does make mistakes, and isn't any better than anyone else, who doesn't always have the energy to laugh instead of cry (though her general mechanism of coping is usually to crack jokes and smiles instead of tears), but can always be there for a hug or a kind word and to let people know she's thinking about them. I often wonder if other people spend as much time thinking about their friends/family going through rough spots as much as I do..it's not that I think it's unhealthy to feel bad for other people and what they go through - but is there a point when you do too much sympathy for them and not enough concentrating on your own issues? I find it's better for me to cope with my own improvement or crappy life things, by reminding myself that at least I'm not going through such and such, or dealing with something like that. Is that wrong of me? Is that like a cop-out of some kind, where it means I spend less time on myself and more time on a fruitless endeavor, when I know I can't help them more than I already have? One of the worst feelings in the world for me is feeling like I can't help someone in need...strangers or familiar faces...I don't like feeling helpless. Helpless in the sense ofhelping others, and helpless in the sense of not letting other people help me. It's a strange dicotomy. I'll pray for you guys though, who are going through so much right now that seems so much more insurmountable than my own problems.
I sometimes wonder if little details remind people of me, the way silly or often strange things remind me of them. People from my past that I'll randomly muss "Gee, I wonder how So and So is doing now..." and "wow, that would totally be something that Blank would love" Or remembering events that might have seemed totally mundane and uninteresting to those folks which actually had a profound effect on me or stick out in my mind with this insane intense impact. I'm reminded right now, in fact, of learning what someone's first impressions of me where, that I was unaware of until MUCH MUCH later...and, with a fond sense of how interesting those impressions can be, he said he thought of me as "the girl who complained alot about another class, and liked to talk alot(to my friend in the class), but seemed smart, cause you raised your hand and had intelligent answers" Or, the other impression I often get when people meet me for the first time "sweet and likable, can't understand why she doesn't have a boyfriend..."
I realize tomorrow is a day in which everyone normally says "I Love You" and does the whole mushy romantic thing for their significant other (which I personally think you should do randomly when the mood strikes you and not because one day out of the year dictates it)- and the single people of the world usuallly grumble about how much the day is for candy companies and greeting card factories and are jealous of what the relationship folks have. I should know, I've been in the later category on most Valentine's Days before...though, a few years ago a wise and deer friend - whom I actually haven't talked to in almost 3 months now said "You may not like Valentine's Day and protest it and everything, but I enjoy any day where I have an excuse to tell people that they mean something to me, regardless of their status as a friend, family member, or significant other" (I think that was the gist of his message, though not copied here word for word) Well he's right ya know. And this journal entry has made me think of him and the many many great memories of our friendship. I wonder if he thinks of me every now and again too...
Ya know what? It's nice to know you've had a positive effect on someone else's life, in either a small way or a larger one. My eyes welled up the other night, after I'd sent an email to Christa, in which I told her that I was sorry our talk ended abruptly and I'd wanted to give her a hug and tell her she'd be in my thoughts - for what she's dealing with family-wise right now - she wrote back to say it was one of the nicest emails and she was touched I'd sent it. That was important.
So, I'd like to tell Cassi thank you for her email response recently - it was much needed and appreciated and had profound words of encouragement to inspire me to continue on my path. And to the rest of the friends, thank you for being there for me as my support system, in the good moments, bad moments, and mundane moments, because you truly do impact my life in ways I can't imagine living without. Thanks for accepting this crazy blonde with all her faults and quarky behavior in to your hearts. Now, for my two cents, I don't think a greeting card or box of candy would have said it any better - but Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

Well this week went by pretty fast. I feel sort of as if so much of the semester has already past and that there are soo many things i should have already started relating to school work that i haven't gotten to yet. Oh well, there's only so much you can do each day before you go insane. Grad school has really made me notice my ADD MTV generation attention span. I can't go for more than two hours of reading without having to take a break, and either bounce off the walls for awhile or have some other distraction around. Plus, while reading my mind wanders so much, to thinking about so many other things, it's like i'm trying to tell myself with my consciousness that ANYTHING is more worthwhile than learning and reading whatever is in front of me. So much so, that today, while reading about structures and theories of organizational learning and scapegoats and whistle-blowers for compannies, I was instead recalling an experience from elementry school - ya, that far back, so I really have NO idea what i was trying to read. Damnit, I hate when you end a paragraph and have no idea what it said, but yay for the memory, because it was a sweet one :).
I've had a decent weekend too. I screwed up something at worktoday - at least I think I did, which I'll probably have to try and correct later this week, but only one probably correctable mistake so far isn't horrible I guess. Traci and I investigated a bit of Brown County, we've decided it will be majorly fun to go back there in the Spring time, it reminds me of the Res and the drive out there, but it's actually way cooler, with these gorgeous rolling Southern Indiana hills and trees and these houses that look like quaint little cottages and some log cabins. I could really tell where all the flooding has happened too, since all the trees were basically burried in ice. Seemed a lill desolate, but the warm smoke coming from the cabins made me feel warm too. Nashville is a small sorta spread out town with a wedding chapel, plenty of bed and breakfasts and an artists' colony and a county library. Of course Traci and I went to the library to check that out :) not much was there though....a kewl building nonetheless. We went into a couple of the shops, one where the woman made handmade paper, another for doll house minatures. I thought about the boys back home too, because in one "box" they had a miniature old time bar set up, and I totally thought the boys would LOVE the little mini bottles of Jack Daniels, (for will of course), and beer cans (for Q). We went into a book store as well, but quickly realized we needed to get back to B-town for Traci to get a monroe co public library card, so back we went. I will have to take a picture of the sign for the car place here...it def tops Kum and Go, for the signage and the hilarious dirty-ness of it. Perhaps I will get a chance to do that soon. Friday night I stayed in and did homework, and I watched Charade, an Audrey Hepburn Carry Grant movie with the Stempel Three girls . and then went to bed, I was exhausted, having woken up at 5 am and not being able to get back to sleep. I also felt a little pang of missing home, because not only did I get emails from many of the old friends - including one from heather hall - whom I saw in Germany last summer and sarah buschelman whom I haven't seen since third year at UI, but because many of them were going out on the town last night, and/or drinking together. While I didn't really drink much during the semesters I would still have probably gone and hung out and socialized, so i do miss that aspect...more now than last semester too, because I haven't met anybody else to go to the bars with here in Indy yet. Today has been really boring during the day, homework/reading the whole time...did watch the hawks kick indy ass...no surprise there. I had a great time watching Dial M for Murder with Christa, Dimah and Julie though - classic older movies are great! We went to main and were just purusing the shelves of movies there. I realized I have not seen many of the "classics" I've now resolved to watch all of the movies on the AFI's 100 years 100 movies list that I have not already seen. I've not seen many - and some I've only seen a few scenes from - like Casablanca, and the Godfather (Thanks ALOT jon and Q!!! I will fastforward through that scene next time!!!!) so before the end of summer I will try to see all of them that I haven't. another zealous behind the scene type project...
right now it's 1 am, and I"m not really feeling sleepy, but again, not feeling like doing any more reading tonight. so hence the longer entry in this online journal thang. I'm feeling like writing some poetry, but also not feeling motivated to write it, becaue it would be crappy. Tomorrow will be spent doing homework most of the day, then going to kickboxing in the early evening, then to Barnes and Noble with Traci for more homework time, but at least in a different place. The "e" cover on my keyboard has fallen off of the laptop. This is not good. Not only because it is more difficult to use the "E" key, and my realization that the e is in quite a few words in zee english language, but also because it's not my laptop, it's dad's. I'm sure he will be none too happy to hear this.
I am looking forward to Valentine's Day this year...which is odd. The last time I had a good valentine's day was junior year of college, when I made protest shirts with Christy, Jon gave all the girls roses (so he could be a pimp ya..) and Tuttle wrote me a poem. That was the last good V-day I had. Senior year, I got my teeth cleanned, that was the highlight. 5th year I dogsat for Fritz, the cutest Schnauzer in the world, and had to field phone calls from weird stalkerboy #2 who wanted to come over to keep me company. This year might actually be interesting. I've always been single on V-day, and that will not change this time around - so i get to wear my Pink protest shirt - yes, the ONLY pink shirt I own (since i really dislike the color pink) I will go to class...oh joy....and then I may set up an appointment to dye my hair, something drastic, a big change...any suggestions from the online journal readers out there?
I got my first paycheck yesterday too, makes me feel like less of a slacker, as I've spent all of last semester watching the account balance simply dwindle. I bought a scale and some handweights too...to help motivate myself to lift more often.
and that's the boring life of me. If I were to write a screenplay to the movie of my life so far - (since i'm on a movie kick after the AFI list) I think I would have to title chapters - sort of like in Kill Bill - and this one would be called "The Boring life of Me" subtitled the grad school years, and yes, I know now how to do the proper grammer and punctuation for cataloging such a title.
so, that's the scoop here. ...

Listening to: Ben Harper - Strawberry Fields (Beatles Cover), Hepburn - I Quit, Hoobostank - Running Away,

No idea what to write about today. Guess the muse has amusingly decided to vacate my head. Yesterday was a pretty chill and rainy day, we spent it at the library doing homework. I came back here, watched part of a musical, then helped Christa find her Halloween costume (quite fun) But, alas, a normal ordinary type of day. Actually I appreciate the normal ordinary days too, because, it makes me realize how special a day of just chilling and relaxing can be. This morning was great. Tanya had the idea that we should try the Runcible Spoon, because she'd never been, and I'm a newbie to IU anyway, so it presents a good excuse to get good food at some local places and soak up some local atmosphere. It's a fun little place. A converted house, was very crowded, populated with interesting folks to people watch. It's also full of fun bookshelves with many mismatched volumes of various old binding varieties. Including "Peter the Great" next to a book on gardening. Such fun. A real treat for the visualist like me. We had to wait almost 45 minutes for our food, but I did get to catch up with Tanya. I haven't seen much of her this past week because of her midterms, and she's also been feeling under the weather lately. The food was great. I've been craving some good french toast for some time now, since I live off of cereal almost everyday for breakfast, it was well deserved and needed! It was the perfect way to start the day. I think Tanya and I will venture to a place on Thursday night to try our hand (or rather lend our voices) at karoake. What fun that will be! ;) And perhaps will go see BatBoy the musical on Friday night, and then Sat, we'll carve pumpkins and get out the costumes and attend a party ;) SO, I just have to keep my head in the game for the rest of this week and get all of my school stuff done...

Halloween Happenings

Shopping today. Played with a cute puppy at the petstore, and named him "Tuggers", which the woman at the petstore decided to call him since he didn't have a name yet. Funny. Screamed in the Spencers for ten seconds. That was pretty fun. I haven't had a good scream in awhile. :) Tanya got her devil ears to match the red dress, so she will be going as the "devil in the red dress" - instead of the "blue" dress. I got my costume to. Considering I'd started out with the whole "Rainbow Brite" idea, and found that I would have to MAKE that costume, and I don't really know how to sew beyond buttons and hems, that idea was out. Then, I was totally about going as the Bride from Kill Bill, not in the yellow jumpsuit - though it was comforting to know at least the manufacturers thought girls my size could pull it off. It wasn't original enough...so I figured I'd go as the pregnant Bride from the Two Pines Massacure...alas, no maternity bride dresses to be found at Goodwill in IC or places I'd looked around Bloomington. I still don't even know WHAT we are doing for halloween here, besides a few of us dressing up at SOME point, and hopefully carving pumpkins. So yay for carving pumpkins and dressing up!
Even if I have nowhere to GO to wear the costume, I'll still wear it to celebrate the Halloween spirit. It will not be something to wear to class though. Actually, what am I saying, it is TOTALLY something to wear to class, haha, as long as the people in my program didn't get totally offended by the mocking nature of my gist. It's totally the stereotypical librarian garb. It was a thrown together idea, mostly because I didn't really have to purchase much else to go along w. the parts of the costume I already owned. So yay for Halloween and Librarians!
Different than last year's "Gothic Angel" where I actually purchased the black gloves, and the make-up (I did already have the skirt from the previous year's outfit as the black cat - Meow!) And the leather tube top was from the year before that, when I went as the not so high priced call girl, hehe. Now THAT was a fun night. Halloween three years ago. Firstly, I dyed my hair red, secondly, I got dressed in my hooker gear. Thirdly, I strapped on the bookbag and went to take a 7pm journalism test. Oh yea, that was fun. It's really hard to take a professor seriously, as he passes out papers and he's wearing a red clown nose. I don't care what his official title of PHD means, that's just funny.
The BEST part about that night though, and I love ya Mees, but this totally takes the cake. Before leaving for that test, we agreed to meet at the chemistry building (where my test happened to be, since it was the biggest lecture hall on campus). Ihelped to improvse her costume though, because I didn't wanna be the only one of us strutting around as the call girl that night, so I roped her into it. Well, I will NEVER forget the fun I had that night when I got to pop her boobs. Yup. My improvisation was a hit. I never figured bubble wrap was much good for anything, beyond wrapping up your breakables and the occasional Mexican Hat Dance across the floor with sound effects. But actually, it worked quite a bit better than kleenex. I have to say, had I had balloons on hand, I would have prefered to fill a few with water and use those (for the consistancy factor if nothing else). Yay for Halloween and fake boobs!
Oh, of course there were other moments of fun, and some GREAT costumes out that night. Becks went as your standard kitty, Salena, the standard bunny, so we were all in great spirits. The best outfit had to be the guy who came dressed as the "One Night Stand" now THAT was hilarious. He literally had fashioned a night stand table to slip over his body, complete with a lamp, alarm clock and a drawer. I'm not sure WHAT exactly was inside the drawer, but it was rumored to be functional and contain a box of condoms. I hope he won one of the contest prizes that night. Props also go out to Tom for his costume last year, which I found very clever, especially for the "play on words". He went as an "Orgasm Donor" instead of an "Organ Donor". Nice work.
Should I have been celebrating Halloween in Iowa City this year, there was talk of going as "Troop 69" in which all of the girls would be dressed as girlscounts, and of course, one of the guys would dress up as our "den mother" - my contribution to the idea -- the belief that our merit badges should reflect our traditional girlscount talents -- sexual positions. So Yay for Halloween and the Troop 69 Girlscouts!
I think Christa will do Mary Poppins, her costume was at home in Michigan, where she is this weekend, and perhaps I can convince Traci into dressing up with the other gals for the festivities ;) (especially if she reads this haha) Even if all we do on actual Halloween night is sit around and play poker or watch movies, I don't care, so long as people are happy to be involved and enjoy themselves. Yay for enjoying ourselves!